In Memory of Carrie

Carrie Michelle Evory, born Feb. 18, 1981, died March 20, 2003.

May your life be a legacy and may your death be not in vain.

My grandmother and Carrie

A beautiful, intelligent, funny, wonderful woman. She was a daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter, cousin, friend, and fiance. A graduate of Trident Tech, Carrie worked at the Medical University of South Carolina as a lab tech.

Carrie dressed in white; I'm the little girl on the right

I will always remember her distinctive laugh and her beautiful, white smile. Carrie was 7 years older than me, and I always looked up to her.
I admired her faith in God and her smart wit.

I was the youngest of all my cousins until my little brother came along, so I looked up to Carrie as an older sister. She would give me the BEST manicure and pedicure complete with hot pink or baby blue polish -- dependent on my phase, of course. Oh, and Carrie was the best at braiding my hair! My mom never knew how to braid, so I jumped at the chance to have cute hair when I visited Carrie.

When we were a bit older, Carrie taught me how to play games like War, Aggravation, Sorry, and memory games. Once Carrie hit a certain age, she even taught me sarcasm. :) :)

I wanted to take Algebra like her. I wanted to lug home big high school books like her. When I was entering high school and she was in her last year of college, I loved hearing about her classes. Oh, and it was SO cool that she could pick her own class schedule. She could even go to class only two days a week! ;)

Shelton cousins together for last time in 2002

My last memory of Carrie was a month before she was killed. It was in February of 2003. Just a few days after her last birthday. I was working on a project for school, and we were flipping through magazines with our grandmother (Garnetta Julia, b. April 25, 1929; d. August 12, 2003), talking about life, and laughing about anything and everything. Carrie and Grandma were my two favorite people in the entire world at that point in my life. They were the epitome of beauty, humor, and love. And I admired their relationship with God.

Only a couple of weeks after that visit, Carrie was engaged! I was SO happy for her. She had a job at MUSC working in the lab, and now she was getting married and starting her life. Everything seemed so perfect!

I cannot believe that it has been over EIGHT years since that dreadful and rainy Thursday morning in March. I was getting ready for school, dressed in my soccer jersey since we were to play Timberland (a school so close to where Carrie and my grandmother lived), when I heard the phone ring. My dad almost didn't answer, but he thought it was odd to get a call that early in the morning. Being a pastor, his first thought was that something must have happened -- someone must be in the hospital or worse. When he checked the Caller ID, it was a Charleston number. So it must be someone in MUSC or even Roper. It wasn't. It was Carrie's pastor and close friend of my parents.

I overheard my dad's end of the conversation, and I knew something terrible had happened. I thought maybe it was an older individual in our family. Perhaps even someone in the church. When dad sat me down and said it was Carrie. I felt my heart drop into my stomach. I ran to my room and drowned my pillows in tears. I kept saying and thinking, "NO, this can't be happening. This is a dream. God, why?!"

My mother was already at school, so dad called and asked for her and Jared to come back. Once they knew what was going on, we loaded up our van and went straight to Moncks Corner to be with my aunt and uncle and family. I couldn't talk. I didn't want to talk. What was the use? I was sad and angry at the same time. Why did that guy have to drive and drink? Why did he have to drink at all? Why did he have to ruin everything?

I'll never forget my aunt asking me to sing at Carrie's funeral. That was the only time I remember saying anything that day. As much as I wanted to do that, there was no way I'd be able to handle it. One of her friends sang instead. "I Can Only Imagine" still brings me back to that day.

Carrie's viewing had to be a record breaker. Hundreds of people showed up. Friends, co-workers, church people, and family came to pay their respects and share sweet memories of Carrie. The day of the funeral, I still didn't have much to say. When I wasn't crying, I sat back and watched others dressed in black pile into the large church. The only thing I remember from the service is my strong and quiet grandfather. I sat beside him on the front pew, and when "I Can Only Imagine" started to play, he became overwhelmed with emotion and began bawling. We hugged each other and cried for several minutes.

It was at Carrie's burial that I felt the most outpouring of love. It just so happened that Carrie is buried in Andrews, the town where my parents moved to years before and where they still call home to this day. My parents' church members and my mother's co-workers came to the cemetery that afternoon. They hugged us, told us how much they loved us, and stayed for the burial service. They had never met Carrie, but knew how wonderful she was just by us talking about her. It was in that moment that I knew Carrie's death would not be in vain.

We may never understand the reasons why young people are taken from this earth so quickly. And God expects us to ask the big question, "WHY?" When we love so dearly and deeply for others, and they are taken from us, we feel a loss that is hard to fill. I never know how to take away others' grief, but I know from experience that God gives us shoulders to cry on and ears to listen. Most of all, God gave us a heart to pour out love.

My advice...
First, LOVE God, your creator, who sent His only son to die for your sins.

Second, LOVE your family and friends, who God gave you for company while on this earth.

Third, LOVE others even if they don't deserve it, because where there is love, there is life.

Fourth, LOVE yourself, because God made you and He never makes mistakes.

Don't fill holes in your heart with worldly things, but fill them with God's mercies, peace, and love. Carrie loved God with all her heart, mind, and soul. And, she is in Heaven now LIVING and LOVING and praising her Savior. May her life not be in vain, and may her legacy live on. I love you, Carrie.

Love,

Jenna J.