My heart is whole

As far back in my memory as I can go, I can always remember my parents and my grandparents telling me to "date only who you'd think would make a good mate." As I got older, they also told me to "save myself" for marriage. They didn't just give me the good ol' "it's what's right" or "that's what you're supposed to do" spill. They were honest, and my parents told me something that I never forgot: "You and your future husband will treasure being able to share your whole heart and his with each other." (Somewhat in my own words, but that's what I remember).

When I one day have a daughter and/or a son, I'd like to share this hypothetical story about giving your heart away... enjoy. (This rendition would be for a daughter).

Let's say you meet this wonderful, fantastic guy. Your relationship is amazing. You can tell him anything.
He loves you, and tells you so daily. You both have the same values, ideas, and standards. You're young, and you think you're in love. You're all mushy inside and you draw hearts on your paper in class. You talk about him to your friends constantly to the point where they tell you to quit because they're jealous. You're in high school, and your friends talk about their "first time" and you think to yourself, "We're both waiting until we get married." But the pressure is on. You love him, he loves you. Now, what if things get heated and you AND him give in. (Let's admit it, guys have way less self-control). You have now given him your whole heart, and he has given you his.

THEN... what if something happens? It's your senior year of high school--or maybe you are a freshman in college. Your relationship starts to take a toll with this transition. Your guy feels tied down, and you are too busy...or vice versa. The two of you break up--leaving both of your hearts broken in two.

Time wears on, and you are vulnerable. This guy in your class asks you out to dinner, then another guy you met through a friend starts instant messaging you A LOT. And you start to think, "Hey, I don't need him. Plenty of other guys notice me." So, you start dating other guys.

You start to get serious with another guy. Things get heated, and you give into your desire to feel loved. Yes, this guy may have a 4.0 and is as hot as Channing Tatum, but you just added another notch to his bedpost. He starts calling you less, and, two weeks later, ends up with a girl in your dorm hall.

Now, your heart is no more in two pieces... it's in a few pieces. No, you weren't even having "casual sex"... you only had two "partners" ever. But guess what, you will always have the memory of what happened with those two guys.

So now you're left with the pieces of your heart. After college, you meet your soulmate. You and him talk through your past (and his). It's a struggle. The two of you can only get through this with God's help. It won't be an easy road.

Looking at that possible heart-breaking future pushed me to use self-control. I realize it's hard. I've been there. In high school, our judgment is often clouded by hormones. In college, we're just looking for love in all the wrong places. And by post-graduation, we're desperate and cynical. No matter your past, you can still take the advice on waiting.

I took my parents' advice and surrounded my heart with it. I researched/read A LOT about people that had sex outside of marriage, people that waited until marriage, people that had casual flings, people that got STDs (mild to severe), women that got pregnant, pregnancy and birth issues, etc. I talked with friends who experienced things and said they wished they had waited.

I learned through my research that my parents were not only right about waiting, but BOY was it easier to just NOT have sex until marriage. There's enough stress IN a marriage with sex and having children that I couldn't imagine the stress of it all outside of the walls of a committed life-long relationship.

I guess you could say I was a lucky one. I met a guy in high school that had that same standard of waiting until marriage, the same Christian values, the same ideals... he was a God-send.

We waited, and though we knew we were soulmates from the beginning, we kept our judgment clear. Thank God we did! :) My husband is amazing. He has my whole heart, and I have his.

I do not judge the people that didn't wait--no one is perfect and each person has had a different life experience. But this story is mine, and I love sharing it. And I am proud of my decision and Josh's decision. We are truly blessed.

I will leave you all with one of my favorite verses in the Bible. It was a constant encouragement to me as a teenager and even up until now...

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example to the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity." 1 Timothy 4:12